Today I want to bring to your attention 10 rights of self-asserting (assertive) behavior. Below I will give you these rights and with them the manipulative biases blocking them (hereinafter – MP).
10 Assertive human rights
I have the right to my own assessment of my thoughts, emotions, behavior, and responsibility for their consequences.
MP: My personality should be judged by others or someone authoritative, sophisticated with a great experience. I don’t have to judge my own behavior independently of others.
I have the right to be independent of the good attitude towards me and the kindness of other people.
MP: I need people to love me and certainly treat me well.
I have the right not to explain my behavior or apologize for it.
MP: Before all other people, I am responsible for my behavior, and it is very important that I explain to them what I am doing. For my own actions, I must certainly apologize to them.
I have the right to make mistakes, and I myself am responsible for each of them.
MP: I can’t be wrong, and if suddenly I do it, I must definitely feel guilty. It is desirable to control myself and my decisions.
I have the right to decide whether (and to what extent) I am responsible for solving all sorts of other people’s problems.
MP: I have more obligations towards all other people than towards myself. You need to be able to adapt and be able to sacrifice your own desires and even your dignity.
I have a right not to know anything.
MP: I need to be able to answer any question asked to me.
I have the right to change my decisions.
MP: If I have presented a certain point of view, then it cannot be changed, otherwise I will have to admit that I was wrong. Others will then decide that I am not competent.
I have the right to say “I don’t understand you.”
MP: For those needs that others have, I must pay attention and take them into account. If I don’t do this, then they will consider me indifferent, which means that no one will ever love me.
I have the right to do illogical things.
MP: It is very important always and everywhere to behave rationally, logically, rationally. I always have to have validity in everything I do. Only what is logical can truly be considered reasonable.
I have the right to the phrase: “I’m not interested in this.”
MP: It is very important to be as emotional and attentive as possible to everything that is happening in the world. If suddenly it does not work out, then you need to try more, literally with all your might, otherwise, they will consider me callous.
By realizing and appropriating these rights to yourself (and not succumbing to manipulative prejudices), you can quickly improve the quality of your own life by being more assertive.
If you’re still struggling with appropriating these assertive rights you can always seek help.