Falling in love is a process with several steps. In the beginning, a person encounters the object of their adoration. Under the influence of attraction, they seek to communicate with it. At this point, people tend to experience anxiety about a possible rejection by that special person. There is a struggle for motivation. Its essence is that the adorer wants to achieve a specific goal, but they are scared since the lack of reciprocity will bring suffering.
Three paths emerge here:
- abandon the implementation of their own plans, switching to a safe option, which implies inaction, and cherish only hopes;
- overpower yourself and move on to decisive action;
- to experience prolonged stress, to be exhausted, as a result of which the urgency of the problem will be lost.
Falling in love
When a person is falling in love there’s a slow rapprochement that occurs in stages. Each stage is accompanied by overcoming an internal dilemma. You need to decide to talk, dare to ask for a phone number, and make a date. Emotional contrast is the basis for falling in love.
A person is worried about every new step they take, then feels satisfaction after taking it. Experiences are subjective and bright. They are an integral part of the process of mutual learning. The love that appears later brings less vivid impressions, but the depth of feelings increases, they become thinner and deeper.
In the transition from falling in love to love, relationships become more complicated. Disappointment arises. This is assessed negatively if a person does not have progress in improving the spiritual and emotional component. Many people say about it like this: “Passion is gone”.
There is no need to provide a detailed analysis of the links between the level of spirituality and the ability to sensual outpouring in an elegant manner. But nevertheless the following deserves attention. From a biological point of view, if a relationship doesn’t move forward, consequently doesn’t have a future.
Some people develop a degree of neurosis. Because of this, a rupture will bring nothing but trauma. People get angry and make claims to each other, go through the humiliation and move on to mutual insults.
When the energy of psychological trauma comes from inside, the experiences become neurotic. The internal conflict remains unresolved.
The described conditions become the reason for psychotherapeutic intervention. Its absence will lead to somatization and various diseases of organs and body systems.
When the end of a relationship comes in spiritually saturated people, they experience humility and tranquility. Wonderful memories remain of the past. From the experience, both sides are enriched and ready to move to a new level of building relationships, more subtle, pleasant, and effective.
There is no further rapprochement. This is possible due to suffering because there is no desire to abandon the venture. Human experiences are amplified. What’s next? Hopelessness. Lovers fall under the influence of two opposite and brightly emotionally colored motivations.
The parties strive for contact, but cannot make it. This situation arises from the ambiguity of the position of the object of adoration. He makes a message for rapprochement and, having achieved a response, hesitantly refuses it. This is due to the understatement, which is the result of cultural and educational differences, as well as the conflict environment.
Neurotic love is also observed in a situation in which one of the partners has a reverse relationship. He stops enjoying fellowship. However, the phases of the relationship are undergoing divergence.
The acuity of sensations subsides. One of the partners is in the dark, while the other tries to console himself in the company of someone else. At first, he does it unconsciously. Awareness of the committed act comes later. If the fact of betrayal becomes known to the unknowing partner, a love neurosis arises.
Being in an acute emotional tension does not contribute to the appearance of soundness in thoughts. An adequate assessment of what is happening is impossible. Help from the outside is sometimes ineffective. People who try to help become involved in neurotic relationships, tend to unreasonably take sides or do not have all the information.
Love is the most complex and subtle feeling. The ability of him and his character leaves an imprint on all aspects of a person’s life. Love affects the quality of life. The need for it is comparable in importance to the need to breathe.
Life without love experiences is a punishment, a kind of prison, staying in which does not bring joy, and you cannot get rid of it. Although there are no walls around. Being in such “confinement”, a person quickly grows old and gets sick. Everything around him seems gloomy.
There is an opinion that in the absence of love:
- a believer is subject to fanaticism;
- honor leads to arrogance;
- power gives rise to human violence;
- wealth provokes greed;
- education creates duplicity;
- duties increase irritability;
- justice ends in cruelty;
- poverty is accompanied by envy.
A therapist can help you if you’re experiencing neurotic love. Its manifestations should be seen as a call to help yourself, take care of yourself, and contact a specialist.