I would like to start a conversation about women. Moreover, it is about those who, in our opinion, may pose a threat, a rival. After all, being jealous of our man, we are ready to see in this woman the fiend of hell. We can talk about one or several women. Jealousy always finds a rival for whom the most disgusting feelings are experienced.
Feelings towards the rival
As a rule, it’s hatred, anger, and most often envy. A feeling of inferiority can prevail, and sometimes – a feeling of superiority over a rival, which is usually expressed in just a few words: “what did he find in her?.” This condition causes tension and a constant, obsessive stream of thoughts about this woman. A painful comparison of oneself with the alleged rival begins. There is even some gambling search for information about her (preferably with a photo) in various social networks. A long painful study of photography and an attempt to understand what is wrong. Better yet, find something compromising and slip it to your man … And so on down the list. Those who are jealous of their lover know how to extend such a list.
The genius Freud at one time drew attention to the fact that a jealous person is completely absorbed by a rival, and not by his beloved. And this has its own pattern. Think of your leisure, what makes you interested in this woman, constantly think about her? Why can you not deny yourself to listen to gossip about her, stories of mutual acquaintances, to scrutinize her? At the same time, an explosive mixture of disgust with curiosity, anger, and inexplicable attraction is born in your soul. And all this can also be implicated in envy and hatred. Why is she so fascinating? Have you ever thought about what you are actually looking for when you are trying to find this woman?
If in this second you have an answer, then try to remember it. It will be very useful to you as soon as you take her power for yourself. But there is also an answer in analytical psychology. It is not surprising, but a woman seeks to find herself in her rival. You can clarify: these are the qualities that we do not accept in ourselves, which have arisen as a result of imbalances in upbringing, emotional trauma, etc. And it doesn’t matter what these qualities are. They can be both positive and negative. The most important thing is that we do not show them, we do not consciously show them in our life. This happens because the woman is convinced of their disgust. Or – she is completely sure that she will never be able to do this because it is too good for her. And those qualities that turned out to be unacceptable, we displace into our unconscious. But then we transfer it to another person.
The feeling that I am not like that or that she is like that, at first glance, does not carry any danger. And your priorities, for example, are not to be vulgar or arrogant, not to “pull the blanket over yourself” … People with such qualities annoy me, I do not want and will not be like that. However, our unconscious strives to ensure that a person is of an integral nature. Do not be surprised, but other people, just like your beloved, are drawn to the inner integrity of a woman.
Inner integrity helps a woman. This is your opportunity to allow yourself to manifest all spectrum of feelings. Be varied. But this does not mean that such annoying qualities should be “turned on” all the time. You just have to allow yourself, lift the ban. Here, the feeling of that fine line that should not be crossed is of great importance. If you do not find such inner integrity in yourself, then it is likely that another woman may arise in your relationship. And she will be exactly that missing puzzle for your soul. It must be returned.
Our unconscious works and seeks to reach out to our consciousness through an interest in a rival. And he persistently puts up a “banner” calling for attention in order to make us happy. And for this, you need to be more integral. You can start with a little exercise that can help you begin to regain your own strength. So, take only 20 minutes for yourself to write a letter to your opponent in a relaxed atmosphere. Make sure your loved ones don’t bother you. Be sure to write the letter by hand, and start your message with her name.
Write whatever you want without thinking. Just follow your train of thought. Write to this woman about what annoys you about her, about your feelings for her, about your anger, and why she causes envy. Perhaps there is something that delights you about her. Be sure to write about this too. Write until you feel “emptiness.” Stop and do this: replace her name with yours. Now read the same letter, but with your name (better aloud). Through this exercise, you become aware of your unconscious relationship with yourself. You will realize that you are unconsciously giving your power to the other (s).
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