There is a constant among every person in this world, everyone has needs. Everyone, young and aged; men and women; rich and ordinary; evil and kind; everyone is looking for, waiting, demanding, deserving, and hoping for love.
What is the paradox of this feeling? Why do we keep searching for it without results? Everything is actually quite simple. Love begins with oneself. It is banal, maybe a common phrase, I agree! I will try to convey the meaning in order to reveal that very general phrase.
Let’s start with science
Each person has basic needs, these must be fulfilled in order to stay alive. Such as food, water, security, sleep, etc. If a person does not eat, they die. This also happens with sleep and water as well. So these same basic needs include love and approval. We are social creatures, we cannot live outside of society. Whether we like it or not, we need to live with ours. And if we do not receive approval, we begin to perish as well as without water.
A person must be aware of each basic need. No matter how much I love, I cannot eat for someone. Love and approval, initially you need to learn to receive to yourself, and only then, like food, to share with someone.
Where to begin?
The personality develops in three directions: bodily, emotionally, and mentally.
A person who ignores at least one of these areas of development is unlikely to be able to feel calm and confident. Which means there is a great risk of looking for this calmness somewhere. And this is a big risk, to be always depending on who gives this peace of mind.
The body is the home of our soul. Of course, today is a sin to complain about, there are a huge industry and a lot of opportunities to keep your body in good shape. There is one drawback. The tone is tension, and bodily tension is tense feelings and thoughts.
If at least once a day, we would talk to the body and do what it wants. You cannot just use the body, you need to periodically, and on average 2 hours a week to give it pleasure, relaxation, in order to restore resources.
I’ll tell you right away, the most difficult. Most of the people who turned to me for help, when asked: “What are you feeling now?”, Instead of feelings or emotions, state their thoughts!
Never, never will thoughts replace feelings. We can ignore emotions, control them, but they will not dissolve anywhere, they are and they are part of our body, our life. When nature created our psyche, apparently she did not foresee that some feelings are bad, but some are good. Each society uses its own ideas about morality and morality. For example, today you need to be positive. Rave. Today and always you need to be yourself, not excluding anger and sadness, disappointment and awe. We all have different needs. But the need to express your emotions is important for everyone.
The exclusion of some emotions makes life incomplete. I am not urging you to start hating everyone or expressing anger right now. Just be honest with yourself.
-I am angry!
-Because I’m scared.
– What am I afraid of?
-Stay out of work.
-What happens if I get fired? Etc.
So we came to thoughts, to the only given that a person can control. You know why it is difficult to control thoughts, because we cannot see them. It is very easy to get lost in thoughts, to succumb to them. Most often this happens when a person has no goal and vice versa, the goal prevails over life itself. In order to avoid losses, ask yourself at least once a week: Why do I live? How do I live? Who is around me? and What can I do to change my life, because no one but you knows and will not do it! You need to recognize your own needs.