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  /  Emotions   /  The path that leads to unrequited love

We all think that we have our own path in this life. A special path destined for us from above. But not everyone succeeds in finding their way. And by the age of 50, this leads to an existential crisis – a situation where the preliminary results of a life lived was not entirely satisfactory.

The reason why someone is unable to find their path is because of traps in psychological practice. These are all those temptations that are encountered in the life of any person and lead them away from the righteous path of seeking themselves as a person. It can be:

  • Unrequited love;
  • Intoxicating substances;
  • Narcissism.

 

Dangers of addiction traps

The main danger of addiction traps is the rejection of oneself as a person due to the use of drugs, alcohol, or painful relationships (usually unrequited love). They are caused by an unconscious desire to plunge into a state of complete bliss. This state is impossible in real life, it only occurs in the womb. After all, even newborn babies must make elementary efforts in order to live. Suck on their mother’s breast, scream when they are cold, try to get out of diapers when it is hot, etc.

As for the dependence on the feelings of other people, then, as a rule, those people fall into it who did not receive unconditional parental love in childhood or for some reason did not have time to get enough of it. And this was not enough to go through this life on their own, so they have to grab onto other people and, in order to keep them, fulfill any requirements.

 

Unconditional love

The need for unconditional love, which should have been satisfied in early childhood, in adulthood is directed to other people, which are most often marriage partners. This project, laid down from an early age of life, is very difficult to correct. In adulthood, the complete satisfaction of the desire for unconditional love is no longer possible. After all, the objects selected to receive it cannot do this. Not a single person, even the most loving partner is ready for unconditional love. After all, both partnership and family relations presuppose an equal balance – give and take. Deprived of all conditions, only a mother can give love, and even then not any. Dissatisfaction with this in some people remains throughout their lives, which requires complex therapy aimed at growing up.

The lack of adequate therapy leads to frequent falls in love, unrestrained passion, codependency, and other painful relationships. Usually, one partner dreams of dissolving into another partner, merging with them. Only psychologically mature people can understand this issue. They realize that the object of their passion may not have such desires at all, so they are ready for disappointment. But they still fall into this scenario more and more.

Traps

All of the above traps are triggered by the parental message received by a person in early childhood and making them think that they are not worthy of love. The need to prove the opposite causes a person to desire to become a shadow of another person; to devote themselves to someone else without a trace. And if it doesn’t work out, life loses its meaning. A person believes that they exist only when they are loved, and with unconditional love. Its absence causes apathy and inner emptiness in them.

Such people, regardless of age, don’t fit in society. Infantilism and morbid dependence on other people are some of the characteristics that define them. Normal partnerships with them are impossible. They invest strong feelings in their partner or child, they become the meaning of their life, the object around which this life revolves. And all this is very difficult to survive. Indeed, on the one hand, there is never much love, and on the other hand, there is a strong fear of losing its object behind it.

Conclusion

Relationships like this lead to a complex addiction that can get very tired. Your whole life will be devoted to finding a way to satisfy your need for unconditional love, which disrupts socialization and normal relationships with other people.

In cases of drugs and alcohol, relatives, and friends of the addicted person turn to the psychologist. In cases of painful relationships, the addicts themselves turn to a specialist; but at the same time, they shift the blame for the appearance of their own problems on other people.

 

If you feel like you’re in a situation similar to the one mentioned above, you can book an appointment to close the cycle.

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