What prevents a woman from being happy, light, full, feminine. Many women experience distress as a result of broken relationships with their fathers. Time passes and perhaps the father is no longer alive, but the relationship trauma continues. This can even transfer to partners and children.
The traumatic experience that children receive in childhood does not go away. It manifests itself in the life of an adult. And the situations that occur in their lives reflect this experience.
Not only weak-willed dads can seriously harm their daughters. Cold, authoritarian, tough, indifferent fathers are no less dangerous. The main principles for them are a sense of duty and unquestioning obedience. Such a parent requires his daughter to comply with his standards, a complete separation of these views. The authoritarian father never compromises with the child. They don’t allow the discussion of requirements and do not consider it necessary to justify them. That is, the parent is initially right only because he is a parent.
These fathers completely deny freedom of creativity. Their manifestation of individuality. In such conditions, the girl has no chance to know and understand her feminine principle. They never learn to manifest it. In the future, daughters who have experienced tough, rude attitudes are overly critical of themselves.
Authoritarian fathers usually come from families that also had authoritarianism. Communication with a child with such a parent is always limited by strict rules and strictly regulated. A daughter, crushed in childhood by her father’s authority and accustomed to the fact that it is impossible to be capricious, most likely, will never learn to express her emotions with words. This is fraught with the fact that any stress will be more difficult for her, she will not be able to help herself by “speaking” it. And this is the first step towards the emergence of psychosomatic problems.
A traumatic relationship with a father can take many forms. Their reason is the fathers’ own trauma, their lack of self-confidence, complexes, and unresolved psychological problems. That is why often the most depreciated in the relationship of such fathers with daughters is that which is associated with femininity.
And this creates serious psychological problems in a woman’s adult life.
How does a broken relationship with her father affect a girl’s development? The most typical consequences:
- lack of trust in other people;
- fear of rejection;
- dissatisfaction with your appearance;
- eating disorders.
Consequences of trauma
The daughters of overbearing fathers do not develop healthy relationships with men and have difficulties in manifesting their creativity or destiny. While a woman, by inertia, unconsciously seeks to be reflected in the eyes of a man, as the only way of self-realization, she remains an “eternal” girl, longing for her father’s love.
The individual development of the daughter of an authoritarian father is one-sided so that one part of the personality is externally manifested, and the other, conflicting, is hidden in the shadows. But the repressed side often affects a person’s behavior and disrupts his relationship with others. And the challenge for growth is to learn to see the value of both sides of the personality and try to integrate them so that they work for the benefit.
We all carry a trace of the psychological impact of our parents. However, this doesn’t have to remain forever in our lives only by the products of their influence. The psyche has a natural healing process aimed at achieving balance and integrity.
The relationship with the father affects the daughter’s personal life, nevertheless, when they realize this influence, this can change.
- To change relationships with men, you need to understand the influence of the image of a father on you. But, awareness alone is not enough. We need a good internal study.
- In a relationship with a man, you need to realize that you expect him to do to you the way your father did. It is very important to catch this state and see how it begins to manifest itself in you.
- You begin to “recognize” this state and then you need to say to yourself: “Now I am beginning to have a state of expectation that a man will treat me badly like a father. But this man is not a father. And I’m not a little girl. I am able to defend myself and build healthy relationships. “
Thus, you begin to separate within yourself the image of the father and the real man. Soon after that, you will recognize your state of expectation and you will be able to control it.
I want to say right away – it won’t go away so easily. And even, perhaps, it will remain until the end of life. But the main thing is that when we begin to see what is happening inside us, we become able to separate it from the real world and real people.
The father must remain a father. And a man is your inner and outer self-realization. The woman’s awareness of those patterns of behavior by a traumatic experience, their elaboration, living and changing herself and her life is an important aspect of change.
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